The Art of Natural Family Planning ®

Mourning after the nightmare

Posted on May 3, 2012 by ccli

From the May/June 2012 Family Foundations:

by Holly Rutchik

Jonathan and Kristin Smies expected their third pregnancy to be a smooth sail. Been there, done that.

But the Teaching Couple from Green Bay, Wisc., was devastated by a miscarriage.

Kristin, a 29-year-old stay-at-home mother to two daughters, 4 and 2, learned they were expecting while the couple was geographically separated due to Jonathan’s work and military obligations. Kristin and their girls were staying with family in Florida while Jonathan, an attorney, worked in Wisconsin. Unable to celebrate the pregnancy with Jonathan, 34, in person, Kristin baked cupcakes topped with baby candies for a dessert at her parents’ home. Her family squealed with excitement upon learning the news.

“Unfortunately,” Kristin said, “we were not able to relish the good news for long.”

“By the grace of God…we’re ready…”

Posted on March 27, 2012 by ccli

The following homily was delivered this past Sunday by Fr. Michael Geiger of St. Joseph Catholic Church in Crestline, Ohio. It was shared with us by parishioners and long-time CCL Teaching Couple Dennis and Rachel Rall, who reported that the message was received with a standing ovation. Father Geiger gave his permission to share his message “if it would help others.”

“Whoever loves his life loses it, whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life.”

What could Christ possibly mean when he tells us that we must first lose our life in order to gain it, and if we truly want to be his disciple, then we must also be prepared to be hated by this world? Don’t we all just want to be loved? Don’t we Catholics simply want to exclaim to the world: You like us, you really like us! Not so much.

Rarely has it been easy to be Catholic in this country. From the early colonies, English settlers were very hostile to those first Catholics joining them in the new world. Catholics were expected to keep to themselves, and were victims of outright hate and prejudice. Then came the age of the media, and we were treated to some positive images of priests and sisters – the Bing Crosby and Ingred Bergman variety who were idealized, but still positive. Soon after, we witnessed a Catholic Bishop, Archbishop Fulton Sheen, have a hit TV show. But then it happened: a Catholic would become president. President Kennedy was elected – and something changed.

It started with a speech that Kennedy gave to a group of Evangelical Christians in Texas, where he basically promised that his faith would not impact the way he led the country. Some believe this speech was a step forward; others believe it was a betrayal of his Faith and the ushering in of a new era/epiphany for Catholics: all we have to do is chuck our faith out the window if we wanted to be popular. Oh, we could still retain the cultural identification as Catholic, we just didn’t have to live any of it or publicly profess it. After all, don’t we want the world to like us, to really like us? Not so much.

Then, just off the heels of this so-called epiphany came what history refers to as the sexual revolution, which was anything but revolutionary. Many Catholics bought into the lie that we could contracept our way into a new and freeing existence with all the pleasure and none of the responsibility. Suddenly and tragically, children became an illness or disease to avoid, rather than a gift to behold. And when Pope Paul VI put out Humanae Vitae – the Church’s teaching on birth control — well, there we had it – black and white – just how out of touch the Church was – RIGHT?

Sadly – even many priests and sisters bought into this new ‘freedom’ mentality which did anything but lead to freedom. So in this effort to be liked – really liked by the world, what happened to the Church? I’ll tell you what happened: Catholics bolted from their faith – 65% of Catholics quit going to Church weekly, many stopped completely. We became cafeteria Catholics, choosing what teachings we liked — or that didn’t challenge our sins.

So what happened to the Church? Our convents emptied out, our seminaries became ghost towns, and the divorce rate increased exponentially. Surely the world would like us now – RIGHT?! And just about this time some clergy decided that this would be a good time to hand our detractors lots of ammunition (not to mention lots of money) and break their vows of celibacy, harming the most innocent souls entrusted to their care. Okay it was a small percentage of the clergy a – really small percent – but it was enough to do considerable damage to our children, to our trust – to the body of Christ. And while many Catholics were abandoning their faith it became common place to hear priests and religious publicly trashing the Pope or Church teachings .

But for those faithful Catholics – Clergy and lay alike – who decided to stick it out, the ones devoted to their faith – the attacks have been relentless. The more faithful we are, the more they hate us, they really hate us – and we should be happy about this. Really, Father Mike – happy? Truth be told, we shouldn’t want the world to like us or approve of us. We don’t need its stamp of approval because our Savior tells us time and time again that His Kingdom is not of this world. The entertainment industry will continue to portray all clergy and religious as idiots or sexual deviants. The media will continue to portray faithful Catholics as ignorant, intolerant, and hypocritical. Secular culture will continue to ridicule the Church as an outdated institution. And now, even our government is getting into the action, by stripping away our rights. SO WHAT!?

Our collective attitude should be: BRING IT! History shows that whenever we are persecuted is when we grow. When we take the moral high ground is when we prevail. When we are forced to defend our beliefs, faithful Catholics have risen time and again to the occasion. If this sounds defiant – remember the words of Christ, who tells us that TRUTH is TRUTH, and that if the world hates us, know that it hated him first. The Beatitudes honor those who are persecuted and curse those who are liked by the world. The Catholic who doesn’t see their faith as something worth dying for is the Catholic who doesn’t see their faith worth living for.

So to Hollywood – bring it on! To the liberal, intolerant, main-steam media – bring it! Government officials – hit us with your best shot! The Church came before you, we’ll be here long after you. We have outlasted every kingdom, empire, trend and sin that has tried to destroy us. We have survived every foolish self-inflicted wound with which we have struck ourselves. And why? We hold fast to the promise of Jesus who tells us the gates of hell will never prevail against us.

Holy Week is almost here, and we believe the tragedy of Good Friday will pave the way to the glory of Easter Sunday. Truth will always be truth, So BRING IT! By the grace of God, we’re ready…

Posted in contraception, HHS mandate | 6 Comments

HHS Talking Point #10 – Viagra’s OK but not birth control??

Posted on March 14, 2012 by ccli

This is a series of short talking points that we have provided to our volunteers as information they can use in speaking out in various ways against the ObamaCare mandate on contraception. Feel free to use, build on, or share.

Why is the Catholic Church fine with providing coverage for Viagra for men, but not contraceptives for women? Doesn’t this prove they are just a bunch of men who disrespect women?

Most of the time when you hear this argument on radio talk shows or in letters to the editor, the caller or writer doesn’t actually care to know what the Church’s reasoning is; they just want to use this truth as a way to bash the Church.

But the Church always has reasons for their teachings, and in this case the truth is that the primary purpose of Viagra is to fix a health problem so that a husband can engage in sexual intimacy with his wife. It helps facilitate normal marital relations. The primary purpose of contraception is to cause a health problem, such that the reproductive system dysfunctions and prevents a woman from contracting the newly defined disease of pregnancy. The Church’s goal is to support and protect marital relations as God intended them to be.

The real irony of the complaints that label the Church’s non-support of birth control as anti-woman is that hormone-emitting methods of birth control (e.g., injectables like Depo-Provera and non-injectables like the Pill, patch, etc.) often cause a decrease in a woman’s libido! Seriously, how pro-woman is that?!

Posted in bishops, contraception, HHS mandate, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

HHS Talking Point #9 – Hard Cases

Posted on March 9, 2012 by ccli

I have a life-threatening reason to not get pregnant. Why in the world would the Church be against helping me and my husband with birth control? I guess they don’t really care if my life is threatened by an unplanned pregnancy.

When properly practiced, NFP works. There are women in situations similar to yours who continue to use NFP to prevent a pregnancy. In some cases, they also use a fertility monitor to help confirm their days of fertility and infertility. Some cycles may require more abstinence than usual, but when such sacrifices are made within the context of love, a couple’s overall intimacy is deepened and their relationship is strengthened.

Even in serious situations the Church does not approve of unnatural methods of birth control because they completely alter the meaning of the acts of marital love. The Church is about protecting and safeguarding sexual love, and cannot approve of contracepted intercourse which conveys a message that falls far short of the love God calls us to in marriage.

Posted in bishops, contraception, HHS mandate | 5 Comments

HHS Mandate Talking Point #8 – Irregular cycles and the Pill

Posted on March 6, 2012 by ccli

I use hormones for irregular cycles, not birth control. What is wrong with that?

Morally it is not wrong to use hormonal medications to “treat” cycle irregularities, however, if you are married it is problematic because of the abortifacient potential of these drugs. We say “treat” because in the vast majority of cases, such hormones do not solve the underlying problems that cause irregular cycles; instead, they often mask the true origin of the irregularity. They do produce a regular chemical bleed each month, which helps alleviate the problematic symptoms, but the problem has not been treated and solved. It will return once the artificial hormones are removed.

However, when properly practiced, NFP reveals externally what is occurring within a woman’s reproductive system internally. Thus, a woman can often unveil the underlying problem(s) herself simply by observing, recording, and interpreting her fertility signs. In addition, the excellent book Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition provides up-to-date self-help strategies and is included as part of the basic CCL NFP class material.

Admittedly, while there are a growing number of physicians who aim to treat women’s fertility issues without dependence on artificial hormones, there is a great need for more. Women deserve better approaches than what are commonly provided today. Women deserve physicians whose goal is to restore their reproductive system to health, rather than just have it appear so through the use of chemicals.

Posted in bishops, contraception, HHS mandate, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

HHS Mandate Talking Point #7 – How is NFP different?

Posted on March 2, 2012 by ccli

How is NFP any different from contraception? They both have the same goal.

NFP is knowledge; it helps to read the language of the sexual powers and does not interfere with a couple’s fertility. Spouses do not change their bodies; rather, they change their behavior and choose to refrain from sexual intimacy during the fertile days when postponing a pregnancy. NFP does not control fertility; it enables a couple to control their behavior and thus grow in the virtue of self-control.

The reason NFP is moral and contraception is not – when they both have the same ends – can be difficult to see. But only with NFP is a husband and wife able to give a complete self-gift to the other. Every time they have relations, they give themselves completely as they are at that moment according to God’s design. And, it’s not immoral to just not have sex; there is nothing immoral about avoiding sex for various reasons (i.e., illness, fatigue, need to postpone pregnancy). Controlling our natural desires and sacrificing them for the sake of our spouse or marriage is a noble act. But having sex and thwarting the natural design of sex to serve your own purpose is completely different.

The difference between using contraception and using the knowledge NFP provides to intelligently plan a family is sometimes likened to losing weight (a good end) through dieting versus bulimia. In the first case a person who wants to lose weight intelligently decides what to eat and how much to eat and deliberately avoids over-indulging. In the latter case, they does nothing to control their eating habits and instead vomits after every meal to avoid the consequences of eating.

Posted in bishops, contraception, HHS mandate | 3 Comments

We need to get smarter about promoting NFP!

Posted on March 1, 2012 by ccli

If there’s one thing the ongoing controversy over contraceptive coverage can teach us, it is this: we have to be smarter about the way we advocate for NFP over contraception. In recent weeks, we’ve heard the argument that because Catholics use birth control just as much as everyone else (although that is an exaggerated claim), this whole controversy is much ado about nothing.

In one sense, the critics have a point: how can we expect to be taken seriously if we can’t even convince our own members? We have to take the message to the secular world — and let’s face it, our fellow Catholics — and we have to do it on their terms, not ours.

What do I mean by this?

I mean that we can list side effects till we’re blue in the face, but every medication has side effects, and hardly anyone experiences them. If they do, they consider the benefit to outweigh the side effect. Trying to argue people out of contraception on that basis is doomed to fail.

I mean that every time we talk about the Pill causing abortions, our audience remembers the scientists and doctors who insist it doesn’t. Right or wrong, if it comes to our word versus the AMA, we’re going to lose.

I mean that when we invoke the word “sin” independent of reason, people tune us out as repressive and “out of touch.” (You know that one gets applied to us all the time.)

Please understand: I’m not saying these things aren’t important. They are. They’re a vital part of our classes and our total apostolate. But like it or not, “the Church says so” isn’t enough for modern audiences. They want to know why the Church says so. And although Church teaching is based on moral reasons, those reasons are far from arbitrary–they rest on very practical foundations. We will draw more people in, and they will be more open to seeing the connection between practical and moral lessons, if we promote NFP using terms that will resonate with modern, secular audiences. Terms like these:

1. Green. Remember the study done in northern Canada, where trace amounts of estrogen, comparable to what we ingest through the water supply, were introduced to pristine lakes…and the male fish started showing signs of female reproductive development? What about the simple logic of the idea that if chemical-free is good for food and lawn care, it’s also good for the body?

2. Healthy living. Pop culture is all about finding simple lifestyle changes to improve quality of life. Surely it makes sense to get in tune with the body, to understand how it works and live in harmony with it instead of trying to suppress its natural function.

3. Respect for women. Women in the post-sexual revolution era have bought into the idea that turning off their fertility empowers them. But at the same time, they rage about the state of a woman’s world today: impossible standards of beauty, anorexia, being ogled instead of appreciated for their abilities. They write books on the topic. In reality, the universality of birth control has changed the cultural mindset, tying a woman’s intrinsic worth to her sexual availability. It has aided in turning women into sex objects, in prisons built of Botox and plastic surgery. How is this empowering to women?

4. Respect for women, round 2: For that matter, the universality of birth control has led to women not understanding how their bodies work–the complex interplay of hormones and the related physical changes. For all the focus on sex in our culture, people are appallingly ignorant of the process. Having given over understanding our bodies in favor of suppressing a normal, healthy function of the body, fertility is treated as a disease in need of “preventive care.”

These points can be made without reference to theology, appealing instead to reason. Theology follows naturally, leading to a holistic view of human sexuality — and that is as it should be. From time immemorial, religious teachings have rested on an foundation of reason – even Old Testament prohibitions like avoiding pork or circumcision had a very practical, earth-bound rationale. Appealing to reason is not a capitulation, but a way to reach people who wouldn’t otherwise listen at all. Only when we make our case in this way will we have a chance of influencing a culture that is so convinced of the need for “free” contraceptives.

Kathleen Basi is a stay-at-home mom, freelance writer, flute and voice teacher, liturgical composer, choir director, CCL teacher, scrapbooker, sometime-chef and budding disability rights activist. She puts her juggling skills on display at www.kathleenbasi.com.

Posted in contraception, HHS mandate, NFP, Uncategorized | 28 Comments

HHS Mandate Talking Point #6 – 99%?

Posted on March 1, 2012 by ccli

What about the 99% number that the President used during his news conference? If nearly all women are using contraception, it must be OK.

That many women are not using contraception. There have been numerous rebuttals about the unreliability of this statistic.

Here is the direct quote from the abstract of the report: “More than 99% of women 15-44 years of age who have ever had sexual intercourse with a male (referred to as “sexually experienced women”) have used at least one contraceptive method.”

Yes, NFP was included here as a contraceptive method by the CDC. And, yes, the president said that 99% of all women have used contraceptives. But in fact, the report did not include those women who are not “sexually experienced,” were postpartum, or not using anything for birth control. And yet it did include every woman who has ever used a hormonal contraception for any reason (i.e., if you took hormones at 16 for irregularity for a couple of years and never again, you were included).

One can always find some number or statistic to support one’s point of view. This issue is fundamentally about a principle: Will this country for the first time in its history force people to abandon their deeply held religious beliefs and be forced to pay for drugs and services that directly contradict their beliefs?

So the 99% number is not the actual percentage of women who currently use hormonal contraception to prevent pregnancy, but rather, is a cumulative number?

Yep!

Posted in bishops, contraception, HHS mandate | 2 Comments

HHS Mandate Talking Point #5 – Accommodation?

Posted on February 29, 2012 by ccli

Didn’t the President offer an accommodation to let religious groups avoid paying for services they find objectionable?

The President said in a press conference on February 10 (a statement that holds absolutely no requirement for commitment) that Catholic churches would not have to pay for these services, and instead the insurance carriers would offer the contraceptive services for free. In actuality, this did nothing to change the facts. Everyone knows that the insurance companies will just push along those costs to the religious institutions through higher premiums. Furthermore, later that day when the mandate was officially published in the Federal Register, where posted regulations do carry the weight of law, it was absolutely unchanged.

Posted in bishops, contraception, HHS mandate | Leave a comment

HHS Mandate Talking Point #4 – Women’s rights

Posted on February 27, 2012 by ccli

Women have a right to reproductive healthcare.

Not exactly: Women have a right to preventative reproductive healthcare that truly prevents disease, such as cancer screenings, removal of ovarian cysts, etc.; but contraception, sterilization, and abortion-inducing drugs do not prevent disease. They damage or destroy a major, healthy functioning part of a woman’s body by disrupting her ability to conceive and/or to carry an unborn child to term. Thus, these drugs, devices, and procedures are not healthcare at all; in fact, their primary purpose is to cause a health problem such that a woman’s reproductive system dysfunctions.

It is our government – via the Department of Health and Human Services and the Obama Administration – that has redefined and added “the full range of Food and Drug Administration-approved contraceptive methods” (including abortion-causing drugs) and sterilization procedures as “preventative health care services for women.”

Posted in contraception, HHS mandate, Uncategorized | 4 Comments